As a sex therapist, I get asked by a lot of women what they can do to improve their sex life. Some of the information might seem basic, but some of it may be simple things that you are not aware of. It is these simple things that can make the difference between having a sex life, and having a great sex life. I have tried to outline some of these things below.

Surprisingly enough, men need to be seduced and turned on just as much as women do. While they don't much care for flowers and candy, there are other things that women can do to get their mans motor running.

In Public:

Don't leave his side at a party or function.... He will think that you can't stand not being with him

Rub or massage his leg while he is driving.... He will be anxious to get home!

Call him names like "Babe", "Baby", "Honey", or "Sweetie." He will know that you are thinking of him in more then just a casual way.


Turn him on at Home:

Lay on his bare chest and stroke his arm while watching TV. It makes him feel like he is protecting you.

Lounge around the house wearing your mans boxers

Lounge around the house shirtless.... Men like looking at your boobs, and it feels good for you to be natural and free. This works even better if it is cold in the room, as he will get a bonus view of some hard nipples which he will be dying to rub!

Lounge around the house shirtless wearing his boxers.....Even better!

While laying on the couch, one sure fire way to get him in the mood to play is to lick him before he is even hard yet. Just lean over, quickly pull down the front of his pants, and give his penis a lick or a suck for 30 seconds or so. Not only will it turn him and and get him ready for later, but feeling him growing in your mouth is a great turn on for both of you!



Small Touch.... Big Rewards!

Massage your mans chest... It feels divine

Massage your mans hands and fingers.....They work hard all day.....Make them feel good and they will be ready to play!

Foot Massages.... Most men like them more then Women do, and it will make them want you, even if they are not in the mood.

When he is on the computer or sitting at a table or desk, come up behind him and massage his neck or shoulders for 30 seconds to a minute. Not only will it feel good, but it will let him know that you are thinking of him, and give him the impression that you find his back/shoulders/neck sexy and that you just could not help but to touch them.

Scalp massage..... 30 seconds to a minute and he will be relaxed and thinking of what he can do for you!


While porn used to be thought of as being for men only, it is now enjoyed by almost as many women as men. If you have never viewed porn before you are definitely missing out. It is a great way to get turned on. Watching other people having sex is not only fun for the guy, but it will get your juices flowing as well. Seeing other people naked and engaged in sex with one another is a great way to get in the mood. When you enjoy it together, you will be amazed at what it can do for your sex life and relationship.

Teasing him with porn:

Don't be shy.... If you should happen to catch him looking at internet porn.... don't be upset or act surprised. Instead, make a comment about something in the photo or movie. Say "Wow, she has nice nipples", "Man, she is getting a good fuck, huh?", or "That's a nice picture....Is there any others?" The fact that you not only commented on it in a positive manner, but want to see more will instantly make his manhood rise to attention!

Watch porn with him, or better yet, YOU be the one to suggest it.
Rather then sitting on the couch dreading another night of watching Survivor, he will be blown away if you say something like "Hey babe, why don't we throw in some porn and have a little fun?" Suggesting that you two watch porn together once every week or 2 will put him over the edge. I guarantee that he will be hard faster then you are able to hit "Play" on the DVD.

While watching an adult film, don't just watch, but talk about it too.
If you are both just watching it, it is no different then sitting and watching another boring Survivor episode, but adding a comment in here or there will let him know that not only are you watching it, but that you are enjoying it. Comments like "He has a nice head on his penis", "They are sure hot together", or "That is a nice view" will turn him on because he wants you to be into it too.
Making comments about specific things or about the women in the film will drive him absolutely nuts. Something simple like "She has attractive breasts!", "The way she is licking him is turning me on!", "She has a nice looking pussy!", or "I love the way he is licking her clit!" will send him over the edge because he knows you are enjoying it.

After watching for a bit and you feel yourself getting excited, don't be afraid to let your hands roam a bit. Start moving your hips around a bit and feeling good. Giving subtle "thrusts" in the air with your hips not only contracts the pelvic muscles and feels good for you, but when he sees it out of the corner of his eye, it will make him think about what's to come!

While thrusting your hips slowly and gently, let your hands roam down to your pussy and rub your lips a bit. Keep watching the film and keep making the occasional comments as you do this. Not only will he know that the film is making you hot, but YOU will be making HIM hot.

If you are wet, feel free to explore. Rub you clit and lips gently, and if you need to, by all means go ahead and rub out a nice little orgasm. He may still be watching the movie, but I guarantee he is watching you more.

If things between you progress further then just watching.... Go ahead, but don't stop watching! You can start to explore and play with one another, but still take a moment to watch the film every so often. If you are touching him, still watch the movie. If you are sucking or fucking him, glance over at the TV every so often while doing it. Why not have the best of both worlds? You can still eat popcorn and watch a movie, right? You can still play and watch, and it will be a big turn on for him to see you glancing over at it on occasion.




Below are some tips that will not only make your foreplay fun and exciting, but it will turn your man on and leave him wanting more:

Foreplay: Help him help you!

Don't be afraid to rub your breasts and pinch your nipples a bit during foreplay. Not only will it feel good for you, but the eye candy you are giving him will make him want you more.

When removing cloths before the fun begins.... Don't just take them off....Take them off with style. If you are in the middle of a madding hot sex episode, tear them off fast and hard with a purpose, like they are the only think standing in the way of you and him.
If you are in the middle of a nice, slow episode, sliding your pants off slowly will have him anxiously awaiting the outcome.

Help yourself too! Don't be afraid to help him do the things that feel good to you. If he is touching your breasts, help him out by placing your hand underneath and lifting them upwards. Not only does it feel good, it makes your nipples stick out and it will drive him crazy. If he is rubbing your clit or fingering you, reach down and use your fingers to spread your lips. Not only does it feel good, but it gives him easier access to your hot spots. It will also give him a view that he will be thinking about at work on Monday!

Curl your lips in, squeeze them together, or making the "Oh Shit" face while being touched will make him throb for you.

Talk Talk Talk! Talking during foreplay will turn him, and you on. Tell him how good what you are doing feels. Things like "You are making my clit feel sooo good", "You have a beautiful cock", or "You are rubbing my lips so good" will get him going. Also, don't be afraid to let tell him what you want him to do to you. Things like "I need my clit rubbed", "finger my pussy" or "rub my tight asshole" will not only tell him what you want, but will turn him on as well. Using "bad" words like Clit, Lips, Pussy, Cock, Head, Lick, Vagina and Suck will get him thinking about how you are the only girl for him.

If he is licking you, reach down and spread your lips wide. Not only will he have a great view, but it will make your clit stand at attention and ready to be sucked. Run your fingers through his hair Talk to him while he is down there. Tell him how good it feels. Ask him how good you taste. Tell him that you want to come all over his face. Ask him to lick all of your juices. There is nothing better the getting a good licking from a skilled man!

Share your wetness too.... If you are wet, slide your fingers in and out a few times, and then rub the wetness in fun places like your nipples, his lips, or lick it off your fingers. Rub in onto your lips and then kiss him. Not only will he love the taste of your juices on his lips or your nipples, but when he sees you licking your own wetness or come off of your fingers, he will be thinking that you are the hottest women he has ever been with. After you come, taste your own juices to send him into a frenzy!

If he is rubbing your breasts, don't be afraid to use your hand and rub yourself down below, either slow and gently, or hard and fast, as the situation dictates. This will give him the impression that you need it sooooo bad that you can not help yourself anymore. He will be thinking about it for the next 3 days!

If he is rubbing your clit, reach your hand down below his and finger yourself. If he is fingering you, reach down, spread those lips, and work you clit. Men love to see a women's hips moving suggestively. Thrust your hips into the air with every stroke, and he will want you like a fish wants water.

When you are coming, let him know! When you are close, say "You are going to make me come!", "I need to come", "I want to come" or "Oh my god, I am gonna come!" and that will let him know how you feel. When you are coming, make sure the he knows it! "I am coming", "Oh shit I am coming" or "So it baby, make me come...Oh YES, I am coming" will turn him on more then you can imagine. If you are having a nice romantic encounter, say it quietly. If you are having hot an heavy sex, scream and moan it out!

While you are coming, try staring deeply into his eyes while talking or screaming. Staring deeply into his eyes while moaning and coming will turn him and you on and make you both feel as you are one during this moment. You can also stare into his eyes and talk dirty to him while he is coming for the same effect.



More Foreplay.... Get His Motor Running!

When touching him, so it slow and gently at first. Not only will the anticipation drive him crazy, but your caring and gentleness will make him sizzle! Your guy will have a bigger and stronger orgasm if you build him up to it. Any orgasm is good, but an orgasm that starts out slow and builds over a period of time will make him buck his hips and scream your name when he comes.

Play with his wetness. You know that bit of clear liquid that drips for his penis during foreplay? Not only does it taste good, but it is fun to play with. Rub it on your lips. Rub it on your clit. Lick it off your fingers. You will find that a few guys even enjoy it when you rub it on their lips or let them lick it off your hand. Get some on your tongue and lick their lips, tongue, or kiss them. Play with his juice and he will be begging for you.

Men like it when you look at their penis since it is their most prized possession, so when touching it, don't be shy. If you can lay your head on his leg or stomach and explore it with your eyes while gently touching him, it will turn him on. Men also LOVE to watch you licking them, so when doing it, put yourself in a position to provide a view. If you sit between his knees or keep your head to the side while giving him a blow job, the view of seeing his head between your lips will set him off big time!

If you are licking him, again, slow and gentle is the way to go at first. Lick his head and shaft, but do it gently with a light touch. This will drive him crazy. Start out by sucking him gently. Suck on his head to start, and then the licking, sucking and touching can get progressively faster as time goes on. When you feel that he is ready to come, increases your speed, how hard you are sucking or stroking, and he will have an orgasm that will curl his toes!

Now that you have slowly built him up to a huge orgasm, when he starts to come, talk dirty to him. Encourage him. Tell him things like "I want you to come baby", "I want you explode all over", "I want you to unload" or "I want to feel your cock and balls throb in my hands". This will make him thrust his hips in the air and come like never before!



Sex toys were once thought to be things that only a few dirty women did in secrecy. The truth is, about 40% or women own or have used sex toys. It is more popular them porn, and it is a great way to add fun and pleasure in the bedroom. Shopping for sex toys with your man can be fun, and using them together is even funnier! Read the tips below to turn your man on and improve your sex life.

Foreplay with toys:

Nothing will get a guy harder then if you were to say "Hey babe, why dont you pull out my vibrator/bullet/magic wand/dildo/ and work me over?" If you suggest or initiate the toy games every 2 or 3 times you have sex, I guarantee he will be telling his friends that you are the best women in the world!

Small Vibrators or Bullets are great fun for both. Rub them between your lips or hold them on your clit for a wonderful orgasm. Let him take your toy below and rub you with it. Spread your lips with you fingers and let him work you over with it. Thrust your hips against it. Tell him where to put it and how good it feels and he and you will be begging for more.

Vibrators are great by yourself, but even better for 2. Rub your vib up and down your pussy. Slide it up and down in between your lips. Let him watch and enjoy. Insert it into your vagina and have some fun. There are lots of fun things to do..... When you insert it into your vagina, you can just let it sit there and vibrate you to ecstasy. You can move it in and out slow or fast, shallow or deep, vibrator on or off, for lots of fun. If you have never had a G spot orgasm before, using a vibrator is one good way to do it. When you hit the right spot, it might feel like you have to pee at first, but don't stop. Soon you will have your hips in the air and be begging for more. A G Spot orgasm is more powerful then any clitoris orgasm you have ever had in your life and will make your whole insides quiver!

Once you know what you like with the vibrator, have your guy do it for you. Not only will he be more then happy to accommodate your request, but you can sit back, relax and have him do all the work to lead to a wonderful evening of pleasure.




Of course, no sex tip article would be complete without a few suggestions on how to make intercourse more enjoyable. I have outlined a few popular tips below for you and your partner to try:


When you are on top, squeeze your tits, punch your nipples while you are fucking. The site of this will make your man want to be inside you forever.

When you are on top, slide your hand down and rub your clit. A lot of women cant orgasm just from intercourse alone, so by rubbing yourself off while you are fucking him, not only will he feel your vagina quiver when you come, but he will not be able to get the moment out of his mind.

Vary your speed. If you guys are having a romantic time, go nice and slow. Talk dirty to one another while staring in each others eyes. Ask him how your wet vagina feels. Tell him how good his cock feels inside you and that his head is rubbing you just right. Just sit on his cock so it goes in nice and deep, and just sit still while staring and talking dirty to one another. I guarantee this will drive both of you absolutely nuts.
If you are having a hot and sex fuck, go fast and hard. Put your hands on his chest and fuck him like you have never fucked before. Curl your lips, make that "oh Shit" look, and tell him how good it feels. Scream, yell, talk dirty, and tell him that you are coming and that you want him to empty his balls into your pussy. He will give you the best fuck you ever had and you will feel his cock throbbing inside you because you turned him on so much that he explodes.

If you guys are having a nice romantic encounter, wrap your legs around his waist and hold him tight while you are on the bottom.

If he is on top, reach around and play with his ass. Squeeze his cheeks. Run your finger up and down his crack. If you are feeling adventurous, finger him. Having a finger near his prostate while he is fucking you will send him over the edge.

If he is on top and you guys are having a wild fuck, get your legs and feet as high up in the air as you can. This will not only turn him on, but it will also rotate your pelvis in a way that allows for him to have the deepest possible penetration to fill you up.

I hope some of these tips are helpful to you. I have no doubt that if you follow the tips above, that you will have your guys wanting to be with you all the time. He will also be thinking of you even when you are not together!